Words of affirmation are critical for our children. Heck, they are critical for anyone honestly. In our society there is a plethora of negative talk, criticism, and gossip. That’s why for the month of February I intentionally tried to speak positive truths to my children.
The first year I simply wrote character traits that my husband and I thought represented each kid. Starting on February 1 we would place a heart on the door with a word or phrase describing the child. We used some hearts to express some things that they were good at, but we tried to focus on character traits that they possessed. For instance, my daughter might have had words like sensitive to the needs of others, empathetic, hardworking, etc. My son might have had words like always striving to do your best, knowledge-seeking, and nurturing.
The second year I took it a step further and asked various people in their lives to write them a heart of affirmation. I included teachers, church affiliations, friends, grandparents, and more. Every day they woke up to a new heart on their door and a new encouragement in their heart. It was also super encouraging for my husband and I as we were able to read how other people view our children and affirm these traits in them.
The second year obviously took a little more time to prepare as I had to inquire with people ahead of time to get their message. Many of them wanted to write their message on the heart in their own handwriting, but some of them just sent me a text or email and then I wrote it out onto a heart. A couple of individuals wanted to create their own hearts. I printed the hearts from an image online and then used pink paper to add a “Valentine flair.” Almost two years later, my son still has his hearts on his door.
I also appreciated the opportunity to discuss with my children about true love versus the love that society sells. They got to read about the traits that others appreciated in them and see the goodness in their lives that they were displaying to others. It gave them daily positive reinforcement and increased their self-confidence and self-esteem. As an added bonus, our children realized the value of words of affirmation and even created some hearts of their own.
I highly encourage you to consider taking some time to think of ways that you can speak to your child’s heart this Valentine season.
